Things I do at the library

1. Survey the crowd and think to myself: who would look like an attractive human being following a makeover?

2. Speculate as to who might have possibly had a sex change.

3. Demand an explanation as to why Penthouse is not in the periodical section.

4. Barricade myself into one of the cubicles with one of my numerous text books, pull legs up to chest and put on the "I'm going to crack at any second" face, and just see how people react.

5. Pretend not to speak English while reading a book in English--you would not believe how violently people react to this (honestly, I would not suggest it).